A note to a best friend.

The warm summer greeted us with a refreshing breeze as we pulled out of our driveway. We buckled up and held on for dear life. The Jeep rumbled and we jolted forward and back as we turned the corner. Our skin was sun-kissed and our hair blew in wispy stands, dancing in the wind. Jeep ride to the Frisbee field, “4^th of July” t-shirts, and bare feet held the promise of a good time. I looked over at you, holding your hair back as you finished telling me a story. Your big eyes sparkled, holding excitement as you talked to me. You looked so much older that day, on your 16^th birthday. Part of me knew you didn’t change overnight because you looked the same the day before. But the other part of me saw something I failed to notice; you weren’t my seven year old sister anymore. You weren’t that little girl with butterfly clips in her thin brown hair asking me to play with her. Or those chubby little cheeks squished together under the bicycle helmet as you pedaled away on your wobbly training wheels. I closed my eyes and could imagine your high squeaky little voice calling for me to play Barbie’s, doll house, or little cars. I can remember those Saturdays when we would play Barbie’s endlessly and Mom would have to drag us out of our room to eat lunch. Now our Saturday’s feel so grown up; cooking and baking for church and parties.

What sat next to me in the Jeep was not a little girl, but a beautiful, talented young woman. I am so very proud of you! I love how you can read my inter-being; knowing how I feel better than I know myself. You can reach down and seep right into the deepest parts of my soul. Remember that day a few months ago as we drove to the library together. I was having a hard day and had fooled everyone into thinking there was nothing wrong. I was so proud I could keep myself from admitting I was struggling and I could force back the tears effortlessly. But I didn’t fool you; you saw right through me. “Kel, what’s wrong?” you asked. I was in shock! I just remember bursting into tears. Your caring spirit lifted my mood as you comforted me with happy words. By the time we arrived at the library you had me laughing and joking.

I love watching your style change as you grow older. Remember we used to decorate our room with different themes? I love your eye for good old books and your cute, vintage, Paris style. I will never ever forget that day when you sat in your room all day and cleaned out under your bed. You threw out so much stuff; all of your little collections and papers. That was the day you became organized. Now you re-organize for fun. ;)

I am so proud of the way we keep active; running and playing sports. I thank the Lord everyday that I don’t have a weak sister. You inspire me to push harder and not whine over the littlest ounce of pain. You have taught me that we can accomplish great things and be strong women! You have taught me to be patient waiting for the Lord’s timing and to persevere even when it’s hard. Remember when we had the chicken pox? We had movies planned and books left out for “when we got the pox”. But I remember as soon as we broke out we didn’t want to do any of those things. Having the chicken pox was not as “fun” as we thought. We said to each other each night before we went to bed, that we were one step closer to being better. That was a hard two weeks, but you were there right by my side.  

I don’t want to ever forget those precious days we had growing up. We have been through so much together. We have strengthened and stretched each other on good days and bad. Many fights we have overcome and many weaknesses we have fought against and conquered. Sometimes I wish we can go back to the days when we were little, building sand castles on the beach in Florida or sitting in the grass in our matching calico dresses as Mom read “Little House” to us. But instead of looking at the past and dwelling in what was I will look toward the future, as we grow up, marry, and have kids of our own, being thankful for the memories we shared. God knew we needed each other and He knows we still do. I look forward to more late night talks and more secret looks across the gym during trench ball. Continue to strive to glorify our Maker. In everything you do may you be a light to those around you and an encouragement to many. I love you more than words can express. I hope you have had the happiest of birthdays!

Love,

Kelle

Perserverance;

The low rumble of my Dad's Jeep pulling out of our garage was a sign that morning had arrived. I didn't want to wake up yet; it wasn't time. I quickly fell back to sleep; not want to waste one precious moment in my warm bed. Thirty minutes later, I felt a poke. I woke up, but kept my eyes shut. Another poke. Peering over my covers I could see the silhouette of my sister standing before my bed. The window let in a dusky grey that seemed to promise a hint of a beautiful sunrise right below the horizon. I closed my eyes again; wishfully thinking if I closed them it would turn out to all be a dream. Another poke. "Pst." Diana whispered, "Are you going to get up?" "Mhmm," I let out, somewhat grunting to satisfy her. The floors creaked as she tip-toed out of the room. 6:03; "It's time I got out of the bed." I thought to myself. Pulling back the covers, I picked up my Bible and headed quietly down the stairs. The morning was so fresh and crisp; like the feeling of my bare feet against the cold, wooden floor in the kitchen. I looked to the Family Room and saw Diana sitting peacefully on the couch doing math homework. The snow-covered ground reflected the somewhat bright sky outside. The rays flew through the lace curtains and brought a bit of happiness in the room. I walked into our pantry and smiled as I pulled out the large, glass, "oats" jar. A little bit of cinnamon and a handful of raisins completed my breakfast. I sat on the window seat with my Bible and my bowl of oatmeal and had my quiet time. "But now I come to You and these things I speak in the world so that they may have My joy made full in themselves." {john 17:13} "In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch." {Psalm 5:3} My time in the Word and my time spent in prayer are very special to me. I believe we as Christians should be praying continuously and fervently. Prayer is a powerful thing. It is the most we can do even though sometimes it seems like the least. I wrote down my requests in my prayer journal; my thoughts, my hopes, my worries, my cares, my idols, my sorrows, my regrets. I laid it all at the feet of Jesus; at the cross I surrendered myself.  It is hard at times to keep praying. I was reminded of the days when I felt weary and like I was praying the same thing over and over. Those hard days of waiting and praying. It's so easy to feel like God isn't listening. I was reminded of the days when I cried out to God for hope, for a sign. Ashamed. What would my prayer life be like if God continued to give me hope that He would answer my every prayer that way I wanted it answered? Where was my faith and trust? "We walk by faith, not by sight." {2 Corinthians 5:7}  "But the true Christian keeps on, and though there may often appear to be times when he stops, and seasons when he goes back, yet the Scripture is not broken where it says that "The path of the just is as the shining light, that shines more and more unto the perfect day." The Christian's motto is "Upward and onward." We are not true Christians if we stop, or start, or turn aside. As an arrow from a bow that is drawn by some mighty archer speeds straightway towards its goal, such is the Christian life as it s, such is it as it always should be. We make progress, and we persevere in so doing." {C.H. Spurgeon} I watched the snowy backyard transform as the sun rose higher above the horizon; everything that was hidden in the shadows suddenly came to life again. The branches from the tree glistened as the sun hit the icicles hanging off. {Beauty.}
7:15. I felt refreshed as I ran that morning. The bare, brown, water stained sidewalks were a stark contrast to the foot of snow on either side of me. The sun peered through some of the clouds and made the fresh snow sparkle. It brought back memories of when I was little. I remember being so excited when the snow would fall heavily. I would race outside all bundled up. There were adventures waiting for me. The snow was so white and so big for my little mind to grasp. Snow forts, snowmen, snow angles, huge icicles, hot chocolate; all the memories flowed back, and I smiled to myself as I continued to run. I remembered last week when I went outside with the kids. It was different; not quite the same as I imagined. I told Mom it would never be the same as when I was little for some reason. Diana and I lay on our backs under the lamp post as dusk fell. We looked up at the warm yellow light and watched the little snowflakes fly every which way. "It seems like something out of Narnia!" Diana breathed excitedly. Our street looked so cozy that night; the piles of snow, the warm glow from our home. It made us tingle inside. We laid there thinking about the moment; wishing we could stop life and enjoy it forever. Wishing we will remember the exact feelings that were going through our minds. I came back to reality as I found myself almost slipping as I ran around the corner. I waved to the neighbor kids as they stood all bundled up waiting for the school bus. I waved to the older neighbors in their robes and boots as they waddled out to the end of their driveway for the morning paper. The birds chirped and the fresh air blew against my face. Perseverance; the word kept coming back to me. Perseverance as I ran, perseverance as I prayed, perseverance as a Christian. God never said it would be easy. Sometimes I expect God to give me the easy way out. Just went I think I am so strong, He challenges me, and I realize the work I need to do. I realize how much I need a Savior; daily. I realize that there is nothing I can do in my own strength. He brings me to my knees before Him and humbles me. True religion is not merely living it on the outside, it's goes much deeper than that. It's in the heart. When we can give God everything and dwell in His Word and find safety in His promises; when we can truly worship Him for who He is, and truly trust Him without seeing, then we are true Christians. "But when that religion becomes the atmosphere in which we live, the element in which our soul breathes, when God dwells in us, and we dwell in him, when we feed upon Christ, not as a special dainty, but as the "bread of heaven", and drink of Him, not as a luxury, but as "the water of life;" when we wear piety, not as some holiday garment, but as our every-day dress, then it is that we get into the spirit of true religion." {C.H. Spurgeon} So many times I wish life could be easy and "normal", but sometimes God uses the abnormal lives to glorify Him. If struggles and trials and being uncomfortable are God's way of stretching and molding me, then I rejoice in the difficulties. {'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, What if Your healing comes through tears, What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near, What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life, Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy, What if trials of this life, The rain, the storms, the hardest nights, Are your mercies in disguise.}

Jeremiah.

We sat around in the choir room on the last Sunday of 2012; chairs formed together in a circle. We sat as equals all for one purpose. Our heads were bowed and our hearts were humbled. It was after service one Sunday; 12pm on the dot. We as young people devoted part of our afternoon to prayer; for our nation, for our governor, for our governing officials, for the world that we are growing up in. We poured out our hearts and our desires for revivals. We prayed for those leaders who desperately need a Savior. We prayed with passion for God to give us wisdom in the years to come. There are many days where I fear what this world will come to. I fear I will grow up fighting against much more than we do today. I fear I will be alone in the battle for my beliefs, for my morals, for my family, and for my homeschooling rights. But sitting there with fellow young adult believers I knew God had sent me encouragement. He had placed me in the right place where He wanted me at the right time. {I.love.when.He.does.that.} Then I began to think about the life of Jeremiah. How he was all alone fighting for the Word of God; fighting against non-believers. How he was throw in a pit and despised. How he felt all alone in that great battle. I always thought of him as a whiner; always crying out to God for the trials he faced. But the Lord was with him, he persevered. He didn't need God to send him people; he had the Lord, and that was enough. And the Lord blessed him and kept His promise.
"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: ² “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you. ³ The days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will bring my people Israel and Judah back from captivity and restore them to the land I gave their ancestors to possess,’ says the Lord.”{Jeremiah 30:1-3} 
Then I thought of what a whiner I was being. And how I proudly looked at Jeremiah's life; not knowing that I was doing that same thing. {whining.worrying.crying out in fear.}  And here I am living with a group of like-minded believers right before my eyes and I still felt alone. Here I was sitting in a circle praying, and I still felt scared. I felt guilty for doubting God. I felt ashamed and unworthy to be blessed with these people. God didn't have to provide encouragement for me; but He did, and at that moment I felt the peace of the Lord upon me. I sighed and whispered a prayer of thanksgiving. How could I overlook such a big blessing? It just goes to show what a merciful and awesome God we serve! I fall and He picks me up. We are all fighting for one purpose; to bring glory to our Heavenly Father. Whether we have people around us or not, let us not give up in this fight. Let us not grow weary. Let us not lose hope.
"In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?" {Psalm 56:11} 
"Let us run with endurance the race before us....."