The low rumble of my Dad's Jeep pulling out of our garage was a sign that morning had arrived. I didn't want to wake up yet; it wasn't time. I quickly fell back to sleep; not want to waste one precious moment in my warm bed. Thirty minutes later, I felt a poke. I woke up, but kept my eyes shut. Another poke. Peering over my covers I could see the silhouette of my sister standing before my bed. The window let in a dusky grey that seemed to promise a hint of a beautiful sunrise right below the horizon. I closed my eyes again; wishfully thinking if I closed them it would turn out to all be a dream. Another poke. "Pst." Diana whispered, "Are you going to get up?" "Mhmm," I let out, somewhat grunting to satisfy her. The floors creaked as she tip-toed out of the room. 6:03; "It's time I got out of the bed." I thought to myself. Pulling back the covers, I picked up my Bible and headed quietly down the stairs. The morning was so fresh and crisp; like the feeling of my bare feet against the cold, wooden floor in the kitchen. I looked to the Family Room and saw Diana sitting peacefully on the couch doing math homework. The snow-covered ground reflected the somewhat bright sky outside. The rays flew through the lace curtains and brought a bit of happiness in the room. I walked into our pantry and smiled as I pulled out the large, glass, "oats" jar. A little bit of cinnamon and a handful of raisins completed my breakfast. I sat on the window seat with my Bible and my bowl of oatmeal and had my quiet time.
"But now I come to You and these things I speak in the world so that they may have My joy made full in themselves." {john 17:13} "In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch." {Psalm 5:3} My time in the Word and my time spent in prayer are very special to me. I believe we as Christians should be praying continuously and fervently. Prayer is a powerful thing. It is the most we can do even though sometimes it seems like the least. I wrote down my requests in my prayer journal; my thoughts, my hopes, my worries, my cares, my idols, my sorrows, my regrets. I laid it all at the feet of Jesus; at the cross I surrendered myself. It is hard at times to keep praying. I was reminded of the days when I felt weary and like I was praying the same thing over and over. Those hard days of waiting and praying. It's so easy to feel like God isn't listening. I was reminded of the days when I cried out to God for hope, for a sign. Ashamed. What would my prayer life be like if God continued to give me hope that He would answer my every prayer that way I wanted it answered? Where was my faith and trust?
"We walk by faith, not by sight." {2 Corinthians 5:7} "But the true Christian keeps on, and though there may often appear to be times when he stops, and seasons when he goes back, yet the Scripture is not broken where it says that "The path of the just is as the shining light, that shines more and more unto the perfect day." The Christian's motto is "Upward and onward." We are not true Christians if we stop, or start, or turn aside. As an arrow from a bow that is drawn by some mighty archer speeds straightway towards its goal, such is the Christian life as it s, such is it as it always should be. We make progress, and we persevere in so doing." {C.H. Spurgeon} I watched the snowy backyard transform as the sun rose higher above the horizon; everything that was hidden in the shadows suddenly came to life again. The branches from the tree glistened as the sun hit the icicles hanging off. {Beauty.}
7:15. I felt refreshed as I ran that morning. The bare, brown, water stained sidewalks were a stark contrast to the foot of snow on either side of me. The sun peered through some of the clouds and made the fresh snow sparkle. It brought back memories of when I was little. I remember being so excited when the snow would fall heavily. I would race outside all bundled up. There were adventures waiting for me. The snow was so white and so big for my little mind to grasp. Snow forts, snowmen, snow angles, huge icicles, hot chocolate; all the memories flowed back, and I smiled to myself as I continued to run. I remembered last week when I went outside with the kids. It was different; not quite the same as I imagined. I told Mom it would never be the same as when I was little for some reason. Diana and I lay on our backs under the lamp post as dusk fell. We looked up at the warm yellow light and watched the little snowflakes fly every which way. "It seems like something out of Narnia!" Diana breathed excitedly. Our street looked so cozy that night; the piles of snow, the warm glow from our home. It made us tingle inside. We laid there thinking about the moment; wishing we could stop life and enjoy it forever. Wishing we will remember the exact feelings that were going through our minds. I came back to reality as I found myself almost slipping as I ran around the corner. I waved to the neighbor kids as they stood all bundled up waiting for the school bus. I waved to the older neighbors in their robes and boots as they waddled out to the end of their driveway for the morning paper. The birds chirped and the fresh air blew against my face. Perseverance; the word kept coming back to me. Perseverance as I ran, perseverance as I prayed, perseverance as a Christian. God never said it would be easy. Sometimes I expect God to give me the easy way out. Just went I think I am so strong, He challenges me, and I realize the work I need to do. I realize how much I need a Savior; daily. I realize that there is
nothing I can do in my own strength. He brings me to my knees before Him and humbles me. True religion is not merely living it on the outside, it's goes much deeper than that. It's in the heart. When we can give God everything and dwell in His Word and find safety in His promises; when we can truly worship Him for who He is, and truly trust Him
without seeing, then we are true Christians.
"But when that religion becomes the atmosphere
in which we live, the element in which our soul breathes, when God
dwells in us, and we dwell in him, when we feed upon Christ, not as a
special dainty, but as the "bread of heaven", and drink of Him, not as a
luxury, but as "the water of life;" when we wear piety, not as some
holiday garment, but as our every-day dress, then it is that we get into
the spirit of true religion." {C.H. Spurgeon} So many times I wish life could be easy and "normal", but sometimes God us
es the abnormal lives to glorify Him. If struggles and trials and being uncomfortable are God's way of stretching and molding me, then I rejoice in the difficulties. {'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops, What if Your healing comes through tears, What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near, What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life, Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy, What if trials of this life, The rain, the storms, the hardest nights, Are your mercies in disguise.}
