More Precious Than Silver.

I sat in my rumbling jeep in neutral behind an endless line of cars awaiting the dreaded deep red glow to change green again.  It was a chilly late afternoon in February.  The cool, brisk, winter air streamed through the “needed to be fixed” hole in the floorboard.  I pushed in the clutch and felt the breeze on my bare ankles; reminding me that it wasn’t quite spring yet.  My breath was visible, fogging up my window as I leaned my head against it.  I cautiously peered down at my gas gauge as I felt my car back fire.  “Stinky,” I said out loud, hoping I had somehow misread it.  Feeling half sorry for my tired, exhausted, homeward bound body, I quickly switched lanes and headed East instead of West.  My mind was a thousand miles away as I turned the corner.  So many excited thoughts were flowing at once; circling my head in a steady stream.  

Then suddenly, I was caught off guard.  The sun peered through the buildings behind me and I glanced over at my dirty, rustic side mirror.  Red, orange and yellow eliminated my whole car.  Every window prided itself with the majestic glow of the radiating colors; so vibrant my eyes couldn’t comprehend.  Every mirror reflected this beautiful sunset.  I gasped and caught my breath.  I wanted to capture it quickly and somehow lock it away forever in my soul.  It soaked me through and I drank it in knowing it wouldn’t last forever.  Just minutes before I was impatiently waiting for traffic to quicken and now I shamefully sat at a stoplight not wanting to move for fear it might all be a dream.  Everything I was feeling at that precise moment shown through the sky.  It was as if God orchestrated that moment to drip into my soul and show me Himself. 

 How could God create something so beautiful?  Why does He continue to bless us?  I thought of the beauty around me that I experience everyday; the things I take for granted. {The piles of pure white glimmering snow in the sunshine.  The soft breathtaking sound of snowflakes gently hitting the ground as the warm yellow light from the lamppost glows during a nighttime snowfall.  The glistening icicles on the tips of the trees; covering their bare brown branches.  The smile from a sister; the deep love that radiates from her sweet tender eyes as she clings to me with a tight hug.  The precious heart to heart talks that last long into the evening with someone special and the blue eyes that look deep into mine.  The smiles exchanged that say a thousand words.  The excited feeling of what God is going to do.  My sweet dear little baby nephews and the way his eyes light up when he cheerfully and excitedly talks to me.  The spontaneous water balloon launch in the middle of winter with my brother-in-law.  The love of a family as we cry during hard times and laugh during the good times.  The long hours of prayer and the endless months of waiting.  The feeling of coming home to a warm house filled with laughter and talking, homemade bread and piles of shoes by the back door.  The way we share with each other our hearts and the wisdom we bestow on each other.} 

I thought of all this as I drove to the gas station.  Part of me felt so unworthy.  Unworthy to see these things every day, unworthy to feel the love of Christ and unworthy to accept God’s blessing.   I mess up daily, many times, and yet God still loves me.  I struggle and react in my own sinful way and He still cares about me.  I have selfish desires and selfish thoughts and He still calls me His child.  Without Christ I am nothing.  I have been bought with a price and I am humbly thankful.  I am honored to be His chosen.  How many times a day do I express my thankfulness?  How many times a day am I on my knees with overcoming passion for the Cross?  I will admit, not nearly as much as I should.  I look back at the past year and I am amazed at the work God has done; not only in my life, but also in those who I hold close.  God tries us and waits for us to let go of those things we cling to; the things we think are important.  God wants me all to Himself; He doesn’t want anything hindering my love for Christ.  Yes, it hurts, but God’s plan is more than our selfish wants.  God’s plan is more than what we think we see.  God’s plan is powerful and is more beautiful than anything imaginable. 

"Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And nothing I desire compares to You.

Lord, Your Love is higher than mountains.
Lord, Your Love is deeper than seas.
Lord, Your Love encompasses the nations,
And yet, You live right here inside of me!

Who can weigh the value of knowing You?
Who can judge the worth of who You are?
Who can count the blessings of loving You?
Who can say just how great You are?

Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And nothing I desire compares to You.

And nothing I desire compares to You.”